Finding Myself in the Homeland

All her conscious life, Stacey Terteryan had heard many conversations about the historical homeland, about returning to it – but never saw it happen. And when she reached a difficult period of searching for herself, Stacey decided to begin that journey in the homeland.

“I’m a pure Armenian. My parents are from Beirut, I was born in Fresno. I was three when my father passed away, and my mom and I moved to Los Angeles to live with my grandparents. In my family and community, there were always many stories about the homeland. My grandmother always spoke to me in Armenian. But I only visited Armenia for the first time after both my mom and grandmother passed away,” Stacey begins.

Her first trip to Armenia coincided with yet another Azerbaijani attack on the country: in September 2022, Stacey came to see Armenia but ended up becoming an active volunteer. Instead of the planned two weeks, she stayed for five.

“At that time, I was going through a very hard period in life. I had lost myself, didn’t know what to do, where to go, how to find myself again. I decided to start that search in my homeland. But right after I arrived, the fighting began in Jermuk. I thought – since I’m here, I must help somehow. When things calmed down, I returned to the U.S., but my heart and soul had stayed in Armenia. Back home, I felt like a stranger in my own house,” she continues.

A Hard Decision – An Easy Implementation

Stacey admits her story is a little different. She had to learn to overcome difficulties from an early age: her father was killed, her mother got into a car accident when Stacey was seven, and little Stacey took care of her wheelchair-bound mother. Her mother passed away in 2013, her grandmother in 2020. She has no siblings, so for her, the move was easier than for many other repatriates.

“Making the decision to move wasn’t easy, but carrying it out was. Since childhood, I’ve always managed to achieve what I set my mind to. So, in 2023 I bought a one-way ticket to Armenia. Before coming, I had already contacted the director of AVC, Arina Zograbyan. Right after arriving, I started volunteering at the Kharberd Specialized Orphanage, working with children with disabilities,” she says.

Realizing the Meaning of Life in Armenia

After completing her volunteer work with AVC, the 2023 Artsakh events began. At that time, Stacey still wasn’t fully sure she would stay in Armenia, though she greatly wanted to. She was among the first volunteers to go to Goris, where she and others received the very first and last buses of displaced people.

“The tears from the horrors of those five days only came after I returned to Yerevan and realized what had happened. That was the moment I understood: I can’t and won’t leave this place. My purpose in life has to be realized here. That’s when I applied for Armenian citizenship – to be here fully, as one of its people.”
 

For almost two years now, Stacey has been actively involved in various projects in Armenia. After working with displaced Artsakh Armenians in Goris, she joined AGBU volunteer initiatives and continued to support Artsakh families. She even became close friends with some of them, who, as she admits, have now become her substitute family in Armenia. 
 

Border Villages – Places of Special Love

During her time volunteering in Goris, Stacey met a local from the border village of Karaunj. Through him, she received a small chicken farm and now often travels to Karaunj to take care of it. For Stacey, border communities are places where her special love for Armenia lives.

“Beyond Yerevan, there are many good, sincere people. That’s where my homeland is – beyond Yerevan. I’ll get back on my feet and start teaching English to the children who live there, on the border. That’s the purpose of my life here.

We Armenians have too much envy, too much negativity. But we are intelligent, and we must use our minds for each other’s and our homeland’s good. Homeland is the most important thing – all Armenians in the diaspora should return here.”

Is My Mother Proud of Me?

Stacey doesn’t even want to talk about the difficulties of living in Armenia. Compared to everything she has already endured, all else seems minor. The only thing that saddens her is not being able to visit her mother’s grave. She often asks a friend in the U.S. to do it for her. Deep down, she always wonders: what does her mother think of her decision?

“I would love to know from my parents, especially my mom – is she proud of me? Does she support my choice? When I was in Goris, I saw many signs from her. I believe she’s with me.”

By Nare Bejanyan

Translation via AI based on the original article in Russian: «За пределами Еревана — моя родина».